If This Were Easy…


General Update and Whininess

Filed under: health — Easy @ 8:31 pm

So, I didn’t gain any weight while I was in California. I think we can all agree on ‘Go, me!’ over that. I didn’t lose any, either, but that was never going to happen.

The ongoing saga of aquafit now sits at this:

— Aquafit instructor constantly late, wants to move class to later. Boo!
— New Aquafit class added on Wednesday, and given to tardy instructor, thus getting her out of my schedule, since I train on Wednesdays anyway. Yay!
— New Aquafit class on Wednesday cancelled, thus returning tardy instructor to Thursdays. Boo!
— Pool is being closed entirely and permanently effective December 15th. OMGWTFBBQ!

I am not okay with this. I spend 4 days a week in the pool — 3 aquafit classes, 1 day of swimming. And the one day of swimming is the only exercise I get that I actually enjoy.

I am going to try to void my contract over this, but then the problem becomes where do I go from here? There are other gyms in this area that have pools, but I’m rapidly running out of time to sign 1 year gym contracts, given that about a year from now, I plan to be living a hell of a long way from here. I also have 30-some-odd personal training sessions left that I’ve pre-paid for at this gym, and much as I rag on her a bit, I like my trainer, and I don’t particularly want to go find someone else.

I’m finding this really, really hard to take. Like, spent most of today’s aquafit class trying not to cry hard to take. It’s really not been easy for me to make working out part of my life, and I’m not sure my commitment will survive this.




Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 10:00 pm

I have some bits and pieces I’ve been meaning to post but haven’t had time for, but I wanted to make a general update on the aquafit situation.

Thursday aquafit instructor is apparently being moved to Wednesday and someone else will be teaching on Thursday instead. It’s not clear whether someone else is teaching at 9:30 or 9:45 yet, but hopefully whenever the class starts, they will be punctual.

Thus concludes the saga with a sort of non-victory for anyone.


Tears rained down…

Filed under: health — Easy @ 12:31 pm

Okay, so they didn’t so much rain as water slightly until I wiped my face with a towel, but I was definitely crying at the gym today, and Katya felt really bad about it.

I didn’t hurt myself or even over-exert myself, but I’m always slightly afraid of falling down, and doing squats on top of a bosu ball was only very slightly likely to work.

We started out trying to do them with the platform side down, which is a little more stable, but I couldn’t get my feet into a position where I didn’t feel like I was going to turn my ankles. So then we tried doing them platform side up, and I was able to do the squats, but when it came time to get off the ball, I couldn’t find a way to do it that didn’t make me feel like it was going to tip over and I was going to fall and hurt myself and embarrass myself in front of the whole gym.

And I ended up afraid, and embarrassed, and embarrassed about being afraid, and afraid of being embarrassed, and it was all bad. So when I finally did manage to get my feet back on the floor, I was blinking back tears. Katya clearly felt horrible about that, but it’s not really her fault. She couldn’t know how much I’m afraid of falling nor that I’d be able to do the exercise itself and then flub the dismount.

Still, I don’t think we’ll be doing that one again, ever.


More on Aquafit scheduling

Filed under: health — Easy @ 10:39 am

So, Stephanie, who is the scheduler of all fitness classes at the gym also teaches Tuesday Aquafit. And as she often is, she was late.

So, at the end of class, she was talking about how she’s managed to convince the gym manager to add another morning aquafit class to Wednesdays, starting after the long weekend. So someone else brought up Nicole’s idea about moving her Thursday class to 9:45 or 10 because Nicole can’t make it to work on time.

Stephanie thought that sounded like a great idea, and I think now she’s probably going to move all the morning Aquafit classes to 9:45 so GRRRR to that.

But even more GRRRRRRRRRR to the fact that on the way out of the pool, one of the other class members mentioned that a couple of years ago, all of these classes started at 9:00. But the instructors were always late, so they moved them to 9:15, so they didn’t have to leave right during rush hour to get there. But the instructors were always late, so they moved them to 9:30, so that rush hour was pretty definitely over by the time they had to leave. And now they’re proposing to move them to 9:45.

It seems pretty clear to me that the problem here is not with the time that the Aquafit classes are scheduled for and that moving them is thus not going to be much of a solution.



Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 5:20 pm

So, I was going to the gym 7 days a week, and that was working out okay, except that I was pretty tired much of the time.

So then, the doctor suggested I take at least one day a week off, and Katya agreed that would be not a bad idea. It concerned me a little because I do need the gym to be just something I have to do, and not something where I “decide” if I’m going or not, because let me tell you, if I have to decide every day, I’m not going. But between the tiredness and a lot of achey muscles, it seems like a good idea.

But then cut to yesterday, when I didn’t go the gym, and also didn’t sleep all night. I can’t help but wonder whether if I had gone, I would have gotten tired and fallen asleep instead of staying up until 2AM and then tossing and turning until 4AM.

A friend suggested I could go to the gym on the 7th day anyway, to keep up the habit, but just walk slowly on the treadmill instead of really working out. That would possible solve the habit issue, and the ‘being tired all the time’ issue, but possibly not the ‘not tired enough to sleep’ issue. Which may in fact be mutually unsolvable with the tired all the time issue, unless of course I just indulge my TylenolPM habit.

So, all in all, I dunno. Is it better or worse to take a day off? What about a slack day instead of a day off? Anyone else have any thoughts?

Practice Makes Perfect

Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 12:24 pm

Ha, Katya wanted me to support myself on my elbows and toes above the floor as long as I possibly could today. She was not expecting good things, I gathered, by the fact that she suggested that ‘even if it’s only 2 or 3 seconds, that’s okay’.

Little does she know that that was the rest position for one of the exercises I was doing while I was walking. Of course, I never mastered those actual exercises — but the rest position, I figured out.

She was more than slightly surprised when I could hold it for 30 seconds.


In which your hero pisses off her entire Aquafit class at once…

Filed under: health — Easy @ 5:34 pm

So, in an entirely unsurprising turn of events, given that Aquafit instructors at my gym are routinely late, today, our Aquafit instructor was late.

Very, very late.

She apparently can’t get their any earlier because she has commitments elsewhere earlier in the morning and traffic is just so horrendous that she can’t possible arrive in time for class. So then she wanted to know how we felt about rescheduling the class until 10AM.

I pointed out that that would not be acceptable for me, that 9:30 is already later than I’m really comfortable with, and that if she does so, I would have to stop taking the class. Based on the collective reaction to that comment, I can only assume that while I was making it, I unknowingly kicked a puppy.

In my defense, I don’t think puppies belong in swimming pools.

Then, as we were arguing, I pointed out that I am not a morning person, but that I bust my ass to get to class on time every morning so I’m not so disrespectful as to interrupt the instructor’s class and that it’s not entirely unreasonable for me to expect the same consideration from the instructor. The ‘unlike half the people in this class who show up whenever the fuck they want to’ was apparently sufficiently strongly implied that it didn’t sail over people’s heads, so that didn’t win me any friends.

So now I am the class pariah. Which is fine with me, I was the class pariah before this all started, too, because I don’t stand around and talk in Russian, on account of a) I don’t drag my ass out of bed and to the gym every morning in order to stand around and chat and b) I don’t speak Russian.

I guess, given the choice between them moving the class to 10AM and having it start on time, and leaving the class at 9:30 and not having it start on time, I’d rather they moved it. Then I can just admit that the class is not at a time that works with my schedule and find something else to do on Thursdays. It would be too bad, because I actually think the class, which is stretching focused, is valuable, and it also counts as a sort of rest day, since it’s got no real cardio or strength components, and replacing it with some other form of exercise will not fit quite so well with the rest of my schedule, but I’ll cope.


Conversations from the change room…

Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 1:32 pm

Person #1: You look relaxed.

Easy: Are you sure I don’t look exhausted?

Person #1: Well, yes, it could be that.

Easy: That was the most cardiorriffic of any aquafit class we’ve had since I started.

Person #2: No! You think? She’s okay, but Stephanie is more.

Easy: I thought today was really hard.

Person #1: No, I think Stephanie is harder.

Easy (in her mind): That’s because a) you can 15 minutes late to class so you missed half of it and b) Stephanie makes you shut up and actually do exercises while Ashley doesn’t care if you work or not as long as you don’t get in the way of people who are working. If either of you were actually doing any of the things you were supposed to, with anything resembling good form, you would have found them hard.


I went to the gym today…

Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 10:14 pm

This, in and of itself, is not much of an accomplishment. Except, of course, that for me it is.

Going to the gym is an accomplishment every single day, with the possible exception of Fridays, when I swim, something I’m starting to sort of like, but it is especially an accomplishment on the morning after a night spent suffering through a really vile episode of food poisoning.

It wasn’t a great workout — I was exhausted and tired and probably low on blood sugar considering I hadn’t actually digested any of the previous night’s dinner and bending over made me queasy, but despite all that, I did go. I did work out.

That’s got to count for something.


Conversations with my Trainer

Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 10:49 am

We were talking about size and weight and whether I was ever at a weight I felt comfortable with, and she asked me what size I wear.

Me: A 32.

Her: 32? Is that like a 16?

Me: No, it’s like a 32.

Her: A 32? Like 16,18,20…

Me: 30,32. Yes.

She did have the good grace to be embarrassed about it, at least.


Good workout

Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 3:08 pm

I had a really good workout this morning. Aquafit classes were canceled for the long weekend (and let me tell you, considering I joined this gym right before the August long weekend, when classes were canceled, and then classes were canceled for the August 22-23 weekend for CanFitPro, and now they are once again canceled for the September long weekend, I’m starting to wonder what, precisely, I’m paying for) so I decided to just swim some laps.

I was still feeling a little wheezy from yesterday’s stairclimber induced asthma attack, but once I actually got to swimming, it was going pretty well. Your breathing is pretty regulated when you’re swimming, so the wheeziness wasn’t an issue.

The water was frigging cold today. And by frigging cold, I mean slightly warmer than Prince George keeps their lap pool, but still damned cold. So when I finished my first set of four laps and would ordinarily have stopped for a minute to breathe and such, I decided to keep going. I didn’t want to get cold, I didn’t want to give up the control I’d gotten over my lungs, etc.

I did 10 straight laps, then stopped for a minute, then did 10 more and stopped for a minute. That’s how many laps I have been swimming — 20, which is half a click. But by that point, I’d only spent 23 minutes in the pool, so I did another 5 for good measure.

After I got out of the pool, wheezy breath returned in full, annoying force, but while I was actually swimming, I felt pretty good.


Ir Fat, an annotated history

Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 8:51 am



Snack Attack

Filed under: diet — Easy @ 8:54 pm

I have a problem with snack food, and the problem is this:

All snack food comes in single serving size.

Even when it doesn’t.

On the surface, my inability to control portions makes me seem like a perfect candidate for those 100 calorie packs. In reality, 100 calorie packs almost always come in a box of 6 or 10 packs, which actually makes them 600 or 1000 calorie packs, because I will simply eat them all.

Case in point:

I bought some Pocky today, because a) I *love* Pocky and b) Pocky comes in handy little snack packs of relatively few calories each. The lovely, wonderful Dessert Pocky, for example, has three extra chocolatey Pockies per pack, for a 100 calories. But there are 4 packs in a box. Which was 400 calories when I ate the whole fucking box.

Even while I’m doing it, I know that I shouldn’t. I try to tell myself that the 12th Pocky is going to taste exactly the same as the first Pocky. I remind myself that not only am I not particularly hungry, I am in fact, very full, having had much dim sum earlier in the day. I point out that my plan for the afternoon is a nice long nap and that I don’t really need to carb up for that. I get up and put the rest of the box away in the kitchen so it’s not near me. And then I eat them all anyway.

So, I try not to keep anything snacky in the house. Even good, healthy snacks like nuts and such, are a problem — I’ve been known to eat so many Trader Joe’s sesame almonds in a sitting that I actually threw up.

I wish I knew what to do about this, because it’s one of the things that most easily defeats me.



Filed under: health — Easy @ 4:37 pm

I forgot my iPod at home today, so I had to make my workout marginally interesting all on its own.

I decided to do 100 calories on each of the elliptical, treadmill and bike. I considered adding another hundred on the stairstepper, but after 18 calories — which took less than a minute, so at least 100 calories on the stepper would have been fast! — both me and the stepper wanted to die.

It took 7:39 to burn 100 calories on the elliptical, 11:30 on the treadmill and 15:56 on the bike. What I really need, though, is a source of cardio which does not rely heavily on my thighs, because they are cranky and overworked.

Swimming is sort of that workout, but I don’t think it really gets my heartrate up that much, and I can’t do it much faster than I already do or I end up inhaling water, which is different from drowning only as a matter of degree.


Filed under: diet, weigh-in — Easy @ 10:25 am

337.5 is a very significant number to me.

About 8 years ago now, I was 337.5 pounds, and it was the fattest I’d ever been, and I felt disgusting and gross, and none of my clothes fit, and I resolved to lost some weight. And for about 2 years, that’s what I did — I went to they gym 3 days a week, and I went to Weight Watchers, and I worked my way down from 337.5 to about 259 pounds.

And then I had one very, very bad week — a week in which I was robbed by a man with a crowbar in my own home and had my car nearly destroyed by an idiot who couldn’t park.

And then it all fell apart, and I stopped going to the gym 3 days a week. I’d still go sometimes, but not, you know, every time. And I stopped writing down my food. Not all the time, but sometimes, you know?

And 8 years later, after several attempts to start and stop and restart and blah, blah, blah, I was at 369 pounds, which was the new winner for fattest I’d ever been, and I felt disgusting and gross and none of my clothes fit and I resolved to lose some weight. That was about a year ago.

And there have been more ups and downs and downs and up and ons and offs since then. But now, today, I’m 337.5 pounds, and the last 8 years, whatever they might have meant for the rest of my life, are, weight-wise, a complete wash.

It’s not a victory, it’s kind of an anti-milestone, but at least it represents having recovered from the damage, and that, I suppose, is something.


Apparently I swim very, very slowly

Filed under: health — Easy @ 11:29 am

I swam half a kilometer today, in half an hour. That included a few minutes of rest, but it was mainly swimming — 5 sets of 4 laps, with each lap being 25 meters. That’s about 18 yards per minute or so. If you figure I was probably only actually swimming for 22 or 23 of those minutes, you can get it up near 25 yards per minute.

I looked up swimming in the Daily Plate activity log and it counts ‘moderate’ swimming as 50 yards per minute.


You know you’re a slatternly housekeeper when…

Filed under: housekeeping — Easy @ 12:31 pm

…you find yourself eating lunch with a plastic spoon, because it was the only clean choice.

I’m going to reintroduce 15 minutes of housekeeping a day into my life, because it’s a nasty, depressing mess in here.


Food Betrayal

Filed under: diet — Easy @ 11:27 am

[12:00] Easy: Okay, how is it possible there are 400 calories in a normal sized muffin?
[12:00] Easy: I get that if you eat those giant costco muffins, you get what you deserve
[12:00] Easy: But this was a perfectly average sized muffin from tim’s.
[12:10] Friend: heh
[12:10] Friend: muffins are evil
[12:10] Friend: cakes masquerading as “breakfast”
[12:12] Easy: I managed to find the third most evil muffin on their menu, too
[12:12] Easy: The only ones that are worse are the blueberry and the chocolate chip
[12:13] Easy: Actually, no, wait, that’s 2 blueberry muffins
[12:13] Easy: So, the only thing worse is the chocolate chip
[12:13] Friend: see, chocolate chip… what breakfast has chocolate chips in it?
[12:13] Friend: i would prefer to just have real cake over a muffin
[12:14] Easy: Yeah, see, and I wouldn’t order a chocolate chip muffin
[12:14] Easy: But this was whole wheat carrot
[12:14] Easy: It sounded … healthy
[12:14] Easy: Whole wheat! Vegetables! What’s not to love?
[12:14] Easy: Besides, you know, *19* grams of fat.

Food that’s masquerading as healthy pisses me off.



Filed under: health — Easy @ 12:55 pm

I was doing leg lifts at the gym today, and I started out laying on my left side, lifting my right leg, and while I got kind of tired towards the end, I managed to struggle through 15 lifts.

Then I rolled over and did the other side, and could barely manage the first one. I struggled and struggled and eventually pulled off 10 of them, but it was a bitch and a half.

I know that I’m right-leg dominant, but I’d have never have guessed it would have that obvious an effect.


Training Notes

Filed under: health, metapost — Easy @ 6:18 pm

I went in for my training session today, and my back gave me surprisingly little trouble. I could feel it, but it didn’t hurt, it was just sort of there in the background.

According to Katya, I am much more flexible than she would have expected (“for someone of my size” went unspoken) and also did many more exercises with many fewer breaks today than last week. It’s kind of weird, actually, that I have no idea. I was always acutely aware of my reps at Curves, even though you’re not supposed to count them, but with the trainer, counting reps is her thing, so I just do what I’m told.

She’s got a pretty good sense of what I can manage as a set — I’m often just barely able to pull off the last rep or two, but with one exception, I was able to make it through everything she threw at me without stopping to breathe. I did have to stop a few times between exercises — in particular when she did two things that involved my arms above my head in a row — but not so much in the middle of a set.

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