If This Were Easy…


I’ve been very bad about updating my blog…

Filed under: writing — Easy @ 11:19 pm

…but I’ve been better about updating my Joe’s Goals. At least I have ticky marks.

Instead of writing a progress report here, I’m just going to leave you with this month’s writing assignment, which was an approximately 500 word Valentine’s Hate Story.

Table 2

So, I said, “Can I bring you a drink while you wait?”
“Oh, I’m not expecting anyone else,” she said.
I caught myself before I mentioned that it was Valentine’s Day. But sheesh, taking up only half of one of my best tables on the busiest night of the year. Who dines alone on Valentine’s Day? I just offered her a drink. Again.
A glass of water she wanted. No ice. Slice of lemon. If she’d ordered it hot, I’d have figured her for a bring your own tea bags type. Hell, I figured her for a bring your own tea bags type anyway. But maybe she was just watching her weight. There was a lot of it to watch.
I brought her the water and asked her if she had chosen yet. She had questions. Lots of questions. Was there blue cheese on the cheese plate? How about the salad? Was the beef free range? Or the chicken? Were the greens all seasonal and local? Seasonal and local! In Manhattan! In February. There were about 2 dozen pairs of eyes boring into my back as I stood and answered her stupid questions. I tried to get her to order, but she wanted “just a tiny minute more.”
I took that as my chance and I ran to catch up. Watered 7 and 9, entreed 23 and 24, apped up 11, 14 and 16, watered 9 again, and then noticed that her menu was closed in front of her, so I tried table 2 again. I asked her if she was ready to order.
She very carefully — and slowly, geez, how can you move that slow? — opened her menu, and pointed at the first item. “I’ll have the soup,” she says. Soup. Christ.
“And for your entree?” I ask her, all dripping with with condescension, but I don’t think she noticed. But she doesn’t want an entree. Just the soup. She said she was saving room for dessert, but she was never gonna order dessert. I’ve been doing this for enough years that I can tell.
I ran through the dining room watering and apping and checking all my tables and then finally get her order in. As I headed towards 3 with their desserts, she waved me over to ask if her soup would be long. Well, longer than the 6 minutes since she ordered it, apparently. “Just a few minutes,” was all I said.
When the soup came up, I left it sitting for as long as I could without the sous chewing my ass out for messing up his expediting. When I finally dropped it on her table, she didn’t even taste it, just asked for salt. Fine, salt. I brought salt, and tried to escape while she poured it on. But, then she wanted water. So, water. Brought some water for her. Managed to sneak some to Table 9, too — they were big water drinkers, but at least they were chasing the water with an occasional sip from a $120 bottle of Bourdeaux, you know?
When I brought the water, she wanted bread? Bread. Okay. Bread. When I brought the bread, she’d dropped her spoon and needed a new one, so I ran for that, too.
Table 1 was practically threatening to leave without paying so I tried to catch up, but 11 and 14 were still waiting on their dinners and the sous was now really pissed off at me. Table 2 caught my eye as I walked 11’s steaks out to them, and without quite stopping, I asked, “Is everything alright, madam?”
“Well,” she said, and then sighed and daubed her face with her napkin and then repeated herself slowly. “Well … it is a little salty.”
And you see, don’t you? I had those plates still in my hand. The steak knives were right there. I had to kill her, Officer. I just had to.




Filed under: life, progress, victories, writing — Easy @ 11:41 pm

On a happier note, I had a Harlequin Committee meeting today with my writer’s group, and I had set a goal of 25K words by this meeting, which I met with only a tiny bit of scrambling this morning to finish the last 250 or so words.

I believe I’m the furthest along in the process, though some of the other members who were well into writing the last time I was able to make a meeting were not there tonight, so I’m not sure.


If I didn’t do most of my writing long hand…

Filed under: life, writing — Easy @ 12:16 pm

Write or Die would be awesome.



Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 9:12 pm

Plus, Serena and Lance are finally out of the damned hospital.

Now they’re having pizza at Mozza, and they seem like they’re kind of settled in there for awhile. Not quite sure how I’m going to make them leave there, either.


In which only some things went to hell in a handbasket…

Filed under: curves, diet, health, life, midnight, neck, progress, snooze, veggies, writing — Easy @ 10:41 am

See that? I’m not saying it all went wrong. Mental progress!

So, last weekend I went out on a pub crawl with friends and didn’t crawl into bed until close to 4AM, then got up and went to this giant food event where I ate way too much in the stunning heat, and came home and napped for 2 hours (or, more specifically, napped for 1 hour twice) and this has completely fucked up my sleep schedule.

I’m finding it hard to get to bed and hard to get up in the morning and ARGH.

I have made it to the gym 2 days this week, but in the late afternoon, rather than the morning, like I should.

I’ve also not been doing my neck thing, as last week was that time of the month, and this week I just haven’t bothered. But I got grumped at by the chiropractor this morning, so I guess I should start that up again.

I missed a couple of days of writing, too, because Serena and Lance are trapped in a frigging hospital room and I can’t write them out of it no matter how hard I try because it’s not in the nature of Serena’s character to just leave her Little Sister alone in the hospital, no matter how hot the guy who wants to take her to dinner is. In fact, she’s probably less likely to do it for a hot guy, because that’ll just make her feel more guilty. Stupid characters and their stupid internal consistency issues.

I did do some work over the week on my good in concept less good in execution stories for my writer’s workshop that I didn’t end up going to anyway, because of extreme scheduling confusion and the need to go to the gym yesterday evening since I hadn’t gone yesterday morning. I might post those later.

And yesterday I forgot to eat a vegetable. I mean, there were some vegetables in some of the things I ate (tomatoes, mainly) but nothing your mom would look and call eating your veg. It was a find day nutritionally otherwise, just duh on the veggies.


Weekend Update

Filed under: cleaning, feet, health, housekeeping, life, midnight, neck, personal care, progress, writing — Easy @ 7:39 am

My mom was here this weekend, so some things kind of went by the wayside. I did a bit of neck-laying-on-the-floor-thingy, but not twice every day. And 15 minutes of cleaning went down in flames, too. *She* might have done 15 minutes of cleaning every day, but I certainly didn’t. Writing 100 words also didn’t happen.

Everything else pretty much did, though, so that was good. I even went to the gym on Friday and Monday mornings while she was here, as scheduled.

Last night I got caught up in watching the Olympic Tri, and cheering for Simon Whitfield, and around Midnight when it ended, realized I couldn’t possibly finish all the things I needed to and still hit Midnight, so I left cleaning for another day. I also totally forgot the feet thing since I hadn’t yet added it to my checklist. D’oh. I guess that chain will start today.



Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 10:05 pm

I typed in the rest of what I’ve written on my hopeful-Harlequin project, and that’s my wordcount.




Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 11:37 pm

Rather than writing anything new today, I took the time to type the first chapter of the romance novel I’m writing into Google Docs, editing as I went. (Yes, I do most of my writing long hand.)

5239 words, most written since I started my write 100 words a day challenge.


Missed. Damn.

Filed under: cleaning, diet, housekeeping, life, progress, snooze, water, writing — Easy @ 11:57 pm

I missed two goals Friday. The first was no snoozing. That one is really one I’m finding insanely difficult. I’d probably find it easier if I didn’t so often start the previous day’s ‘write 100 words’ task at Midnight, I suppose.

I also missed writing 100 words that day. Just wasn’t feeling it at all, and couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Cleaning 15 minutes a day, on the other hand, is going quite well. Not that my house is, by any stretch of the imagination, approaching clean. But my laundry is basically caught up and several kitchen counters that I haven’t seen in months are visible. After only a week, I count this as significant progress.

I also wanted to mention something in re water drinking. Which is that I have a nearly full case of coke zero that has been a nearly full case of coke zero for over a month now. Admittedly, I have spent a not insignificant portion of the past few months away from home, but I’ve basically stopped drinking soda in the house entirely. If I go out to eat, or bring takeout home, I’ll generally get a drink and have soda then, but otherwise, I never quite get around to it.

I have my water schedule set up with the idea of drinking one glass in the morning, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. And if it’s the afternoon and I’m thirsty, I stop and drink my afternoon glass of water before I reach for a can of coke, with the thought that if I’m still thirsty after, I’ll have the coke then. And that never happens.

It’s really quite astounding that I’ve managed to basically kill a 4 can a day coke habit without even trying.



Filed under: cleaning, housekeeping, life, progress, snooze, writing — Easy @ 1:12 pm

On Tuesday, I missed two goals — no snoozing and writing for the day. I didn’t manage to get out of bed without snoozing in the morning — I was just laying there not able to bring myself to do it. I’d been up late the night before reading a trashy novel, and I knew my bedroom carpets were still wet from the flooding on Monday and the thought of getting out of my nice warm bed and stepping onto the wet squishy carpet was just not something I could deal with until I’d had a bit more sleep.

The wet carpets were also why I didn’t get any writing done. I should have gone to my writers group’s Harlequin committee meeting, which I would have counted as writerly enough, but I was so knackered from dealing with the carpets that I had a long nap, instead.

Yesterday was better — I got all my goals in, including the 15 minutes of cleaning. I spent the first 10 minutes catching up on my shredding.

I used to think the whole idea that people would steal my identity via my garbage kind of absurd — what, really, were the chances that someone would choose my garbage to go through? But then I threw away an expired passport at one point, and a week or two later, that passport showed up, no envelope or anything, in my mailbox. That kind of freaked me out. I mean, obviously it was returned to me, so I wasn’t all that worried that my identity had been stolen, but if my passport that I threw away ended up back with me, clearly someone was looking at my garbage more closely than I was comfortable with.

So now I try to shred bills and financial statements before I toss them, and last night I did that for my cleaning of the day. Well, that and emptying the dishwasher.

The shredding was way more fun.


I can go to bed now…

Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 11:57 pm

I wrote a couple hundred words for my next writer’s workshop assignment.

Not only does that mean I can go to bed, it means I won’t be writing my workshop assignment on the day of the workshop this month.


General Status Update

Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 9:51 pm

I broke some chains last week while I was in St. Louis (stupid falling asleep when I didn’t meant to!) but I’m reasonably pleased to say that I’ve re-established those chains right back without any new breaks, so I’m feeling good about that.

Last week’s new goal was to write a hundred words every day on something other than this blog. I wrote a Chowhound post one night, and a blog post on another, and then while I was away, scratched away at the first chapter of my potential Harlequin romance novel.

My writers’ group is doing a write-a-Harlequin thing as a side project to our main meetups, and I find the idea entertaining, so I’m attempting it. Hopefully it’ll go better than the last time I attempted it. Maybe I’ll even *gasp* finish it.


This is not going so well

Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 10:16 pm

Well, it’s day 2 of ‘write 100 words’ and already I’m having trouble coming up with something to write.

Other than this, of course.

Yesterday I wrote an entry on my main blog. Tonight, nothing! And I want to go to bed early as I have to get up in the morning for my flight.


I’d just give up and start over tomorrow, but other than the day I was injured and skipped wall standing, I’ve not broken a single chain since I started this project over a month ago, and I’d hate for this to be the start of it, so damnit, I’m going to write something, even if it’s nothing.


…I would never be at a loss for words

Filed under: life, writing — Easy @ 9:00 am

I’ve decided that my new goal for next week is ‘write 100 words’.

I picked it for a couple of reasons:

1. It nicely happens to be on the last remaining subdivision that I haven’t picked a goal from (though I don’t anticipate continuing in round robin fashion every week).

2. It’s something I can easily do while away from home, as I’m going to be in St. Louis for Twangfest next week.

3. It’s a really positive thing that I want to do but never seem to find time for. By making it a part of this routine, I’ll feel obligated to find the time.

Obviously I won’t necessarily write precisely 100 words and stop, but I’d like to write something every day, whether that’s a blog entry for my seldom updated real blog (if you don’t know where it is, let me know in the comments and I’ll link you), a review on Chowhound, an assignment for writer’s group, a CD review or a small piece of one of the writing projects I’m working on, as well as other things as they arise. Posts to this journal don’t count (too easy) nor do things for work or random comments on other journals. It should be something that I will read through more than once for editing before publishing — or not publishing, as the case may be.

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