If This Were Easy…


I’ve been very bad about updating my blog…

Filed under: writing — Easy @ 11:19 pm

…but I’ve been better about updating my Joe’s Goals. At least I have ticky marks.

Instead of writing a progress report here, I’m just going to leave you with this month’s writing assignment, which was an approximately 500 word Valentine’s Hate Story.

Table 2

So, I said, “Can I bring you a drink while you wait?”
“Oh, I’m not expecting anyone else,” she said.
I caught myself before I mentioned that it was Valentine’s Day. But sheesh, taking up only half of one of my best tables on the busiest night of the year. Who dines alone on Valentine’s Day? I just offered her a drink. Again.
A glass of water she wanted. No ice. Slice of lemon. If she’d ordered it hot, I’d have figured her for a bring your own tea bags type. Hell, I figured her for a bring your own tea bags type anyway. But maybe she was just watching her weight. There was a lot of it to watch.
I brought her the water and asked her if she had chosen yet. She had questions. Lots of questions. Was there blue cheese on the cheese plate? How about the salad? Was the beef free range? Or the chicken? Were the greens all seasonal and local? Seasonal and local! In Manhattan! In February. There were about 2 dozen pairs of eyes boring into my back as I stood and answered her stupid questions. I tried to get her to order, but she wanted “just a tiny minute more.”
I took that as my chance and I ran to catch up. Watered 7 and 9, entreed 23 and 24, apped up 11, 14 and 16, watered 9 again, and then noticed that her menu was closed in front of her, so I tried table 2 again. I asked her if she was ready to order.
She very carefully — and slowly, geez, how can you move that slow? — opened her menu, and pointed at the first item. “I’ll have the soup,” she says. Soup. Christ.
“And for your entree?” I ask her, all dripping with with condescension, but I don’t think she noticed. But she doesn’t want an entree. Just the soup. She said she was saving room for dessert, but she was never gonna order dessert. I’ve been doing this for enough years that I can tell.
I ran through the dining room watering and apping and checking all my tables and then finally get her order in. As I headed towards 3 with their desserts, she waved me over to ask if her soup would be long. Well, longer than the 6 minutes since she ordered it, apparently. “Just a few minutes,” was all I said.
When the soup came up, I left it sitting for as long as I could without the sous chewing my ass out for messing up his expediting. When I finally dropped it on her table, she didn’t even taste it, just asked for salt. Fine, salt. I brought salt, and tried to escape while she poured it on. But, then she wanted water. So, water. Brought some water for her. Managed to sneak some to Table 9, too — they were big water drinkers, but at least they were chasing the water with an occasional sip from a $120 bottle of Bourdeaux, you know?
When I brought the water, she wanted bread? Bread. Okay. Bread. When I brought the bread, she’d dropped her spoon and needed a new one, so I ran for that, too.
Table 1 was practically threatening to leave without paying so I tried to catch up, but 11 and 14 were still waiting on their dinners and the sous was now really pissed off at me. Table 2 caught my eye as I walked 11’s steaks out to them, and without quite stopping, I asked, “Is everything alright, madam?”
“Well,” she said, and then sighed and daubed her face with her napkin and then repeated herself slowly. “Well … it is a little salty.”
And you see, don’t you? I had those plates still in my hand. The steak knives were right there. I had to kill her, Officer. I just had to.




Filed under: midnight — Easy @ 10:59 pm

I went to bed at midnight last night. I got up before 8am this morning. Now I am teh sl33py.

zzzz zzz zzz

At least I don’t have to worry about the midnight ticky mark for today, because I’m going to bed early.


Today’s new thing…

Filed under: midnight — Easy @ 9:34 pm

… is going to bed by midnight, which will hopely lead into tomorrow’s new thing, not snoozing, and with any luck, those two things together will finally get my sleep schedule back on track.

It’s not that I’m still jet lagged, it’s that I haven’t pushed myself to get back to my proper routine since I got home from the west coast. So tonight that’s my goal.


Getting my shit together day 427

Filed under: midnight, progress — Easy @ 8:47 am

Okay, it hasn’t been quite 427 days, it just feels that way.

Last week’s efforts to get my shit together didn’t result in much shit being got together. It was a rough week for a couple of reasons, and a busy week, too, and between those two things, a lot of ticky marks went unclaimed.

This week, however, has been much, much better. I’ve been missing ‘going to bed at midnight’ but other than that, I’ve mostly been getting all the other ticky marks. It’s not a great trade, sleep for ticky marks, but I really, really needed to get back on track, so for a short time, I think it was worth it.

Also, this week, I figured out how I actually could monitor the timeliness of completing my tasks, so unlike the last time I promised it, that actually will be next week’s new thing.


Getting my shit together summary of day 1.

Filed under: ear swabbing, midnight, neck, progress — Easy @ 8:49 am

Well, progress was made. I managed to get most my ticky boxes yesterday.

I didn’t make it to bed by midnight, as I didn’t get home from bookclub followed by grocery shopping until close to 11, and then there just wasn’t enough time to do things and still make it to bed on time.

I didn’t do the neck thing, because to even get to bed at a reasonable hour required some level of give on what I had left to do at the end of the day, and I haven’t done the neck thing in quite a awhile, so I figured it was expendable.

I didn’t make it a day without Q-tipping my ears because part of my 15 minutes of cleaning was putting back all the stuff that came out of my bathroom and storage room for the renovations and I came across an old stash of Q-tips I didn’t know I had, and my sub-conscious overpowered my brain and stabbed one in my ears.

I’ve thrown the rest of them away, so hopefully that’ll be the last of that for awhile.



Filed under: life, progress, victories, writing — Easy @ 11:41 pm

On a happier note, I had a Harlequin Committee meeting today with my writer’s group, and I had set a goal of 25K words by this meeting, which I met with only a tiny bit of scrambling this morning to finish the last 250 or so words.

I believe I’m the furthest along in the process, though some of the other members who were well into writing the last time I was able to make a meeting were not there tonight, so I’m not sure.


If I didn’t do most of my writing long hand…

Filed under: life, writing — Easy @ 12:16 pm

Write or Die would be awesome.


…I would read all about it

Filed under: life, reading — Easy @ 8:43 am

I should probably be doing something about the fact that I’m being slack about recording what I eat or the fact that what I eat is generally terrible for me this week. Or, perhaps I could restart last week’s timeliness goal, which was an abject failure in which I never figured out quite how to keep track of the timeliness thing and thus never even started. But I already wrote a reason to go with this new thing, so I’m doing this anyway.

Dietary rehabilitation can wait until next week.

This week, I’m adding ‘read a book’ to my list of things to do every day. Not a whole book, that would be silly. But some part of a book — 10 pages, a chapter, a short story.

I used to read almost every night before I went to sleep, but since I imposed the limit of going to bed at midnight, and also added a zillion things I needed to do before I went to bed at midnight, that’s really fallen to the wayside. So now I’m making myself make time to read.


Snoozing and not snoozing

Filed under: life, progress, snooze — Easy @ 9:54 pm

I’m finding my new routine of letting myself snooze twice and then forcing myself up to be working much better than other alternatives I’ve tried.

This morning I got up for a bit, but because I didn’t sleep well last night, ended up going back to bed for another hour after awhile, because I really felt I needed the extra sleep — but I didn’t have any problems getting out of bed in the first place, which has been the problem up to this point.

Just getting my feet on the floor is a victory.



Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 9:12 pm

Plus, Serena and Lance are finally out of the damned hospital.

Now they’re having pizza at Mozza, and they seem like they’re kind of settled in there for awhile. Not quite sure how I’m going to make them leave there, either.


Giving in…

Filed under: life, snooze — Easy @ 4:03 pm

I’m still deeply struggling with the sleep scheduling thing. I get to bed by midnight (plus five or so minutes grace time) every night, but come the next morning, I just can’t get out of bed. I love the warm and the dreams and the goodness of snooze time, and so instead of getting up, I just lay there thinking in lolcatish, “DO NOT WANT!” Which isn’t really the same warmness and goodness that I love, so I’m having a crappier version of the experience that I miss, but not so crappy that I get out of bed anyway.

It’s really been frustrating me, but I recently got an email from someone I had emailed on MetaFilter. She had Ask.Metafiltered a question about fighting her snooze habit, and I had sent her something about my own struggles and ended it with a reminder that ‘snoozing is bad’ is a value judgement that she doesn’t necessarily have to buy into. That if she really loves to snooze, she should schedule her life to allow her to snooze, in full recognition that she’s choosing snoozing over other things because she enjoys it more.

That was a couple of months ago, and she just recently noticed the Me.Mail and wrote me back. Which made me read my advice to her. And realize that it’s pretty darned good advice.

Snoozing for an hour or more every morning was not working for me. But not snoozing is also not working for me.

I’m changing the definition of my snoozing rule — instead of no snoozing, I’m going to give in and allow myself one glorious 9 minute snooze period every morning. And then, because I find it easier to get up when it’s quiet instead of when my radio is blaring at me, I’m going to give myself another 5 minutes or so.

After that, my incredibly fucking annoying cell phone alarm is going to ring in the living room, so if I haven’t gotten up to shut it off by then, I’ll actually want to get out of bed.


In which only some things went to hell in a handbasket…

Filed under: curves, diet, health, life, midnight, neck, progress, snooze, veggies, writing — Easy @ 10:41 am

See that? I’m not saying it all went wrong. Mental progress!

So, last weekend I went out on a pub crawl with friends and didn’t crawl into bed until close to 4AM, then got up and went to this giant food event where I ate way too much in the stunning heat, and came home and napped for 2 hours (or, more specifically, napped for 1 hour twice) and this has completely fucked up my sleep schedule.

I’m finding it hard to get to bed and hard to get up in the morning and ARGH.

I have made it to the gym 2 days this week, but in the late afternoon, rather than the morning, like I should.

I’ve also not been doing my neck thing, as last week was that time of the month, and this week I just haven’t bothered. But I got grumped at by the chiropractor this morning, so I guess I should start that up again.

I missed a couple of days of writing, too, because Serena and Lance are trapped in a frigging hospital room and I can’t write them out of it no matter how hard I try because it’s not in the nature of Serena’s character to just leave her Little Sister alone in the hospital, no matter how hot the guy who wants to take her to dinner is. In fact, she’s probably less likely to do it for a hot guy, because that’ll just make her feel more guilty. Stupid characters and their stupid internal consistency issues.

I did do some work over the week on my good in concept less good in execution stories for my writer’s workshop that I didn’t end up going to anyway, because of extreme scheduling confusion and the need to go to the gym yesterday evening since I hadn’t gone yesterday morning. I might post those later.

And yesterday I forgot to eat a vegetable. I mean, there were some vegetables in some of the things I ate (tomatoes, mainly) but nothing your mom would look and call eating your veg. It was a find day nutritionally otherwise, just duh on the veggies.



Filed under: life, midnight, progress — Easy @ 11:25 pm

It’s 12:25 now and I’m not in bed.

I guess I can kiss that ticky mark good-bye.


A better day…

Filed under: life, midnight, progress — Easy @ 11:52 pm

Today was a better day for getting things done.

The funny thing is, yesterday I had an all day event scheduled, and I had kind of mentally mapped out everything I had to get done around that event. And then it got cancelled. So with an extra 6 or so hours in my schedule, the whole thing fell apart and nothing got done.

Today, everything except going to bed by midnight is a ticky box. And I have a good excuse for not going to bed by midnight — my Puzzle Pirates crew was actually out pillaging. I’d pretty much count that like having guests or being out, in which case, I still have 2 minutes to write this and get to bed.

On the other hand, I’m thinking of making ‘in bed by midnight’ not applicable to Friday and Saturday (and Sunday before holiday) nights anyway. It might be dangerous, in that it messes with my schedule, but at the same time, it might be more realistic.


Weekend Update

Filed under: cleaning, feet, health, housekeeping, life, midnight, neck, personal care, progress, writing — Easy @ 7:39 am

My mom was here this weekend, so some things kind of went by the wayside. I did a bit of neck-laying-on-the-floor-thingy, but not twice every day. And 15 minutes of cleaning went down in flames, too. *She* might have done 15 minutes of cleaning every day, but I certainly didn’t. Writing 100 words also didn’t happen.

Everything else pretty much did, though, so that was good. I even went to the gym on Friday and Monday mornings while she was here, as scheduled.

Last night I got caught up in watching the Olympic Tri, and cheering for Simon Whitfield, and around Midnight when it ended, realized I couldn’t possibly finish all the things I needed to and still hit Midnight, so I left cleaning for another day. I also totally forgot the feet thing since I hadn’t yet added it to my checklist. D’oh. I guess that chain will start today.



Filed under: life, snooze, tools — Easy @ 2:36 pm

Still pointless and annoying, but now that I’ve figured out how to work the software, absolutely fascinating at the same time.

I’m not sure staring at little slidey bars that say when I woke up in the night is worth $200, though. Especially not as the watch only stores a single day of data, so you have to upload it every flipping day.


Side effects.

Filed under: cleaning, health, housekeeping, life, neck, PT exercises, snooze — Easy @ 4:01 pm

Because I use my yoga ball every day to do the PT exercises, I discovered that I could easily get up and down off the floor by rolling off of and onto the ball, instead of hurting my knees by kneeling.

Because I was already on the floor doing my neck thing, I finally got around to cleaning out the underneath of my desk, ridding it of papers, pairs of shoes, and empty water bottles.

Because I cleaned out the underside of my desk, I’ve found it much easier to do my PT exercises, since I don’t keep whacking my feet on things while I’m trying to circle them.


Also, if my sleeptracker watch wasn’t so profoundly annoying, I probably wouldn’t have hit the snooze button 7 times this morning.

Not so amazing.


Quickie Update

Filed under: cleaning, curves, health, housekeeping, life, midnight, neck, snooze — Easy @ 10:23 pm

There’s no new thing for this week, since I’m revisiting last week’s new neck thing, now that it’s not that time of the month anymore.

The 15 minutes a day cleaning project has now officially cleaned every part of my apartment at least once. Some things have been done more than once and some things need to be done again, but the space under my desk was the last uncleaned spot, and I did that tonight.

Curves is going pretty well. I’m getting there MWF and not hating it. And the people are very chatty, which is what I like about it, so that’s good.

I got my sleeptracker watch on Friday and at this point, I think it’s likely to go back. It’s not really helping as much as just going to bed at the same time every night did, and it doesn’t really seem to detect periods where I’m ‘more wakeful’. It detects periods where I’m completely wide awake and actively rolling over. I don’t exactly have difficulty detecting those points in my night — when I’m deliberately moving pillows, I know I’m awake. Duh.



Filed under: life, progress, writing — Easy @ 10:05 pm

I typed in the rest of what I’ve written on my hopeful-Harlequin project, and that’s my wordcount.



Reality Bites

Filed under: life, midnight, progress, snooze — Easy @ 10:16 pm

I decided to return my bedroom clock to a semblance of reality. I have, in a battle with my snooze buttoning tendancies, adjusted my clock forward, rather than my alarm backwards, when I needed to be up a few minutes earlier. It’s gradually worked it’s way to 16 minutes out of step with everyone else in the Eastern timezone.

Since I want to go to bed at actual midnight, I’d like my clock to reflect actual midnight. So, I set my clock according to the time on my cell phone and then moved my alarm back from 8am to 7:30, which is really only getting me up 14 minutes earlier.

Depending on how I feel about that, I may change it back to 7:45, which is basically what it was set at before, when it said 8. We’ll see.

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