If This Were Easy…



Filed under: diet, tracking, walking, water — Easy @ 9:48 pm

I haven’t been updating this journal in awhile, partly because I have a new blog that’s sucking up my time and attention, and partly because I’m just frustrated with this whole side of my life. I don’t feel like things are getting better, I don’t feel like I have any part of anything under control, and the whole thing just makes me want to pound my head against things.

I keep wanting to add new things (or, rather, old things back in), but I can’t even get my shit together to do the three things that are currently on my list — walking, water and charting my calories.

I’ve been getting my three glasses of water most days, but some days it is only two, and often those come late at night when I already feel dehydrated, and I’m not tracking it, so I couldn’t say for sure how many days it is of each. I haven’t been tracking my calories or measuring my food.

I have been walking, most of the days I’m supposed to — though not yesterday since there just wasn’t time other than in the heat of the day, and I had already spent an hour and a half on my feet at the farmer’s market anyway — but it’s really not going well. I seem to make it okay through the first lap around the house, but the second lap is constantly bringing with it problems — I can’t breathe or my feet cramp up or my sides cramp up or something. I don’t think I’ve made it properly all the way through any of my last 5 or 6 walks, and it’s pissing me off.

Add to that I just feel fatter than ever, even if I’m still hovering around 350, and I’m just not happy. I went to a plus-sized clothing swap today, and nobody wanted any of my stuff, because my skinny clothes from when I lost weight a few years back were too big for all the other women there. That was depressing. Even if I lose all the weight I’ve gained in the last 5 years, I’ll still be the fattest person I know.


Some days, I tell you.



Woot! Woot!

Filed under: diet, tracking, weigh-in — Easy @ 8:59 am

5 pounds lost since I started tracking my food consumption.



Filed under: diet, tracking — Easy @ 2:41 pm

I’ve assumed that the reason I didn’t manage to lose any weight the last two weeks is that I was eating out too much, but as it turns out, the more likely culprit was a box of stale crackers that’s been sitting on my counter gradually being consumed.

Whole Grain Stoned Wheat Thins are 30 calories each! So the four I grabbed as a tiny snack to make my stomach stop rumbling over the smell of my lunch cooking were 120 calories total. Which makes them nearly 20% of my total lunch calorie consumption, despite the fact that the rest of my lunch was two entire servings of beef stew. For 4 crackers! And they’re even Whole Wheat crackers!

I haven’t felt this betrayed by a food since I discovered how many calories are in a falafel.

This may also account for most of my fatness as a child, when I ate stacks and stacks of Stoned Wheat Thins on a regular basis. Who would have guessed?


…I would know who I am

Filed under: diet, tracking — Easy @ 9:23 am

As I said on my calorie tracker comparison chart, they say you are what you eat, so this must be the path to self-discovery. Thus far today, I’m a spicy caramel apple. For breakfast. Yeah. Good thing I’m just tracking what I do eat and not trying to be on a diet, yo.

I’ve been tracking my calories fairly regularly for the last couple of weeks as I’ve been experimenting with the different calorie trackers, and now I’m making it officially this week’s thing. The goal is to track everything I eat throughout the day, every day. Some things, obviously, will be simply estimates in terms of volume and nutritional values, but I’ll make a good faith attempt on stuff I eat that other people (restaurants, friends, etc) prepare and measure the stuff I make myself.

I didn’t track my food yesterday, as I was at an event with more than 50 different bits of food to try and I tried nearly all of them. That sort of thing is going to be impossible to track, and I’ve decided in advance that I will still give myself checkmarks on those days as long as I don’t take one overblown meal as a reason not to track anything else I ate that day. It’s part of my meta-goal of learning to not give up quite so easily on all the other goals when they go a little bit awry.

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