If This Were Easy…


Tears rained down…

Filed under: health — Easy @ 12:31 pm

Okay, so they didn’t so much rain as water slightly until I wiped my face with a towel, but I was definitely crying at the gym today, and Katya felt really bad about it.

I didn’t hurt myself or even over-exert myself, but I’m always slightly afraid of falling down, and doing squats on top of a bosu ball was only very slightly likely to work.

We started out trying to do them with the platform side down, which is a little more stable, but I couldn’t get my feet into a position where I didn’t feel like I was going to turn my ankles. So then we tried doing them platform side up, and I was able to do the squats, but when it came time to get off the ball, I couldn’t find a way to do it that didn’t make me feel like it was going to tip over and I was going to fall and hurt myself and embarrass myself in front of the whole gym.

And I ended up afraid, and embarrassed, and embarrassed about being afraid, and afraid of being embarrassed, and it was all bad. So when I finally did manage to get my feet back on the floor, I was blinking back tears. Katya clearly felt horrible about that, but it’s not really her fault. She couldn’t know how much I’m afraid of falling nor that I’d be able to do the exercise itself and then flub the dismount.

Still, I don’t think we’ll be doing that one again, ever.



  1. I empathise with you. Totally.
    I’m sending fellow-feeling hugs.


    Comment by Linda — 2009-10-01 @ 3:56 pm

  2. I hate those damned balls with a passion. It’s not just you. They’re absolutely terrifying, and eerily unnatural. There are no big rubber balls in nature (T.A.N.B.R.B.I.N.)

    It’s essential – and comforting – to bear in mind that every single gym activity has redundant alternatives. There’s no ring of fire that must be passed through as a do-or-die. In fact, gyms are all about diverse redundancy and overall broad choices. That’s what they’re GOOD at.

    So if there’s something you’re uncomfortable with (aside from the basics, like sweating, getting a little out of breath, and feeling achy the next day), saying “no” is always an option. Trainers understand this. They’re all about finding activities that suits your needs, or even your mere caprices and aversions.

    Don’t let it throw you. Just keep going. I know it feels like a hailstorm sometimes, with a headwind to boot!

    Comment by Jim Leff — 2009-10-01 @ 6:54 pm

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