If This Were Easy…


Also, hi!

Filed under: metapost — Easy @ 4:58 pm

I may have mentioned this before, but I have an all or nothing problem.

I’ve been trying since I got home from Christmas to get my shit together, and it just will not be got, as you may have noticed by the almost total lack of posts here, the utter absence of ticky marks, and, if you’re someone who sees me on a regular basis, the once again ballooning size of my waistline.

I just keep having these mental arguments with myself about how to get started again. One part of me says I can just start back where I was before Christmas, since I could clearly handle all of that stuff in a day then, so I should be able to now. The other part of me says, no, I need to build back up in a reasonable manner or I’ll fail and hate myself. And then that part turns on itself and starts arguing about which particular ticky boxes I should start with if I’m just going to start with one or a few. The easy ones? The fun ones? The most impactful ones? The ones I started with before? The short ones?

I’ve also considered a variety of things that weren’t previously on the list — actually doing the write down everything you eat thing that I never got so far as to make a ticky mark, starting WeightWatchers, even more drastic options like Dr. Bernstein (and jesus, I hate needles, so when I’m seriously considering having needles stuck into me 3 days a week, you know the shit is bad.) and weight-loss surgery.

When my brain can agree on nothing else, it can usually agree on spending money, though. (Hey, I managed to acquire a thousand CDs somehow, you know?) Trouble is, I have all the things I need for all the existing ticky boxes so that wasn’t doing me any good. So I bought some weights and a pedometer and I’m going to try a walking workout I read about in Prevention. It’s not already on the list, so I don’t have to argue with myself about which category it falls in and whether that’s the category to start with, plus, I got to exercise my Mastercard, which is the only part of me that ever gets any exercise, normally.

And it saves me from having to make a decision about the whole “they closed my fucking gym” situation, which, if I was blogging at the time, I probably would have written about here. But, yeah, they closed my gym, so now I have to figure out if I want to go to the location that’s twice as far away but staffed by the same people as my old one, or another one that’s closer but kind of in the hood and not run by people I know.

I am going to put one other ticky mark back on from the previous list and that’s drinking 3 glasses of water every day. There’s a large diet coke sitting on my desk that says I’m returning to bad habits. Snapping my diet coke habit without even trying was something I was really proud of damnit! I drank one of the Coke Zero’s that had been living in my house for like a year since I stopped drinking coke the other day and it was skunky as hell, and for a brief moment I was all like “go, you, you had this stuff in your house for so long it went bad, and it’s nothing but chemicals, so it shouldn’t even go bad”, and then I remembered that I was drinking the shit, and I hadn’t had any water at that point that day, so I didn’t feel proud anymore.

So that’s where it stands. Water and the “2-week turnaround” exercise plan. We’ll see how that goes.


1 Comment »

  1. The “all or nothing” issue seems to be the hardest one to break on the wagon jumpers group. For going back to the gym I decided I “had” to buy an interval timer. Ah, whatever got me back at this point. Although, oh god I still hurt!

    Comment by beaglesmuggler — 2009-04-27 @ 7:55 am

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